Louis and Zoey can go to hell. I hope their damn boat hits a reef and sinks. Who healed Zoey when their own health was dangerously low, saved Louis from three Smokers in one level, saved Louis again when he walked into a witch, manned the minigun and killed a million infected while we waited for rescue? ME!
So when the boat finally got to the docks and I fought off the infected while he and Zoey got on the boat, you'd think they could help me out when I went back for Bill, killing a Tank and thirty infected before being brought to the ground. You'd be oh so very wrong though. For even as they screamed "FRANCIS!! NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" they strapped in and shoved off, leaving Bill and I for dead. Hence the title of the game I suppose.
Maybe Valve intended it as more of a warning than a play on words (or numbers rather). Whatever the case, playing Left 4 Dead with only the AI as my ally has been an interesting experience. None of my usual friends have the game any more and I hate playing with strangers, especially (I wish I was making this up) when they're little kids that scream in terror whenever they see a group of infected.
I really do like Left 4 Dead, I just wish I had some actual friends to fight alongside with. You know, people that give a shit when you get dragged half a mile by a Smoker. The AI is a great shot for the most part and they certainly seem to care about the rest of the group while you're playing through a campaign. It's when you actually reach the objective that they tend to get a little antsy. Trapped by a group of infected near a saferoom? They'll be there in a jiffy. Incapacitated by three infected mere inches from the rescue helicopter? Enjoy being a zombie.
I doubt there will be any kind of patch to change this behavior in the AI. In fact, I think it's one of the more human behaviors I've seen in a game. Sure it's one for all and all for one when you're in the shit, but when everything you've worked to gain is only a few steps away, those bonds tend to stretch and break. Desperate situations breed blind eyes.
If any of you are reading this and have Left 4 Dead, give me a hand. I promise I'll return the favor.